Alex Gweneth’s Moral Bankruptcy Exposed by Broken Hartz

We’ve been unable to obtain Alex Gweneth’s baby photo, but we can only imagine that when he was born, he had the face of a cherub. His parents surely beamed with pride at their newborn boy. Would he become a surgeon? A teacher? An art historian? Little Alex’s future was not yet written. Oh, but it is written now. Mr. Gweneth, sadly, became a soulless flunkey for Hartz through his job at 5W Public Relations, a profoundly slimy firm with a long history of unethical conduct.

Thanks to a fascinating exposé by the heroes at Broken Hartz, we have learned about the pitiful fate of this once-promising young child. Instead of saving lives, teaching children, or preserving the legacy of Neoclassicism, Mr. Gweneth spends his days filling the internet with false claims about the safety and effectiveness of Hartz’s products. For this, he receives a paycheck. Read Broken’s Hartz’s post and prepare to be amazed.

Alex Gweneth: Visual Approximation

(Editor’s note: In the visual approximation of Mr. Gweneth, we notice that his skin appears to have been severely burned and scarred. We suspect that Mr. Gweneth may have applied Hartz to his own skin, causing a terrible reaction. After all, this is a common consequence of Hartz flea and tick “treatments,” as you can see in these pictures.)